DAYEdalera
Thursday, March 06, 2008
My latest obsession
I am obsessing again about the results of the bar exam.
Everyday at three p.m., I can’t help but stop working, go to google, search for articles, news, rumors about the fast approaching uncertain date of the release of the results. I am obsessing that this is the only way I can breathe out the pressure. As previously stated, I am a masochist. Many advices I have heard on how to deal with the agony of waiting, yet it seems nothing works in my case, a person with acute paranoia; severe doubt on herself; hyper distrust on my September performance and a swelling high expectations from the people around me. Don’t get me wrong I am not a total pessimist person, I already have surrendered my insufficiencies to God and allowed Him to do the rest for me.
I am obsessing as to what may come by end of March, will I have to move forward and start a career in the legal profession or Plan B is to take over?
I am obsessing that as of today, my life has been clogged and it seems it cannot flow as freely as my spirit wants to.
I am obsessing as the Boss is withholding information on bar matters, which caused me so much fear, nightly nightmares and severe anxiety.
I am obsessing of some good night sleep or a bucket of beer to at least find some sleep, of a lover or a friend who could relate with the astonishing fear I am experiencing, of a sudden escape that can help me avoid the questions of those who like me are becoming impatient of the release of the results.
I am obsessing of some peace of mind. Haay..Haay..
Everyday at three p.m., I can’t help but stop working, go to google, search for articles, news, rumors about the fast approaching uncertain date of the release of the results. I am obsessing that this is the only way I can breathe out the pressure. As previously stated, I am a masochist. Many advices I have heard on how to deal with the agony of waiting, yet it seems nothing works in my case, a person with acute paranoia; severe doubt on herself; hyper distrust on my September performance and a swelling high expectations from the people around me. Don’t get me wrong I am not a total pessimist person, I already have surrendered my insufficiencies to God and allowed Him to do the rest for me.
I am obsessing as to what may come by end of March, will I have to move forward and start a career in the legal profession or Plan B is to take over?
I am obsessing that as of today, my life has been clogged and it seems it cannot flow as freely as my spirit wants to.
I am obsessing as the Boss is withholding information on bar matters, which caused me so much fear, nightly nightmares and severe anxiety.
I am obsessing of some good night sleep or a bucket of beer to at least find some sleep, of a lover or a friend who could relate with the astonishing fear I am experiencing, of a sudden escape that can help me avoid the questions of those who like me are becoming impatient of the release of the results.
I am obsessing of some peace of mind. Haay..Haay..
Labels: 2007 bar exam experience, bar exam, bar exam rumors, bar results
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6 Comments:
DAYE!
Just remember that you are not alone. Buti ka nga may Plan B. I don't have a Plan B.
Let's just keep praying.
Btw, the cartoon pillows worked the first night. After that, I keep tossing and turning in my sleep and waking up every hour.
Hi,
I'm quoting here some thoughts on hope from a former bar examinee who is now a lawyer:
“Aug. 28, 1992. Don’t lose hope. It may be that God will help me to successfully pass the bar. And thought it may be nothing more than a ‘maybe’ , yet while it exists there is still ground for hope, and a good ground at that. For who knows but that it is indeed God’s will that I pass?…"
All he had was a big MAYBE. And according to him, while this "maybe" exist, there is still reason to hope. What we are experiencing now is outrightly humbling for we are forced to settle on the "maybe" and turn it into hope.
Yet this "maybe" is one that we dare not understimate because it is anchord on the generosity and faithfulness of Christ. God Bless us all.
hi roomie gladys!
looks like you had lots of fun while in Manila..ako I am longing to go home in the province naman to seek peace of mind.hehe DQ ko talaga..
Anyway, we are praying and soon our agony will be over..
God bless us!
Hi "keeptheflame".
Yeah. "HOPE" is better than "MAYBE".
God bless us.
daye
Hi "keeptheflame".
Yeah. "HOPE" is better than "MAYBE".
God bless us.
daye
You're not visiting "atty-at-work"? there are lots of comments there about frantic people howling for the bar result and the passing percentage, he he. People there dont mind sharing their inmost fears and dreads about the bar. You may want to toss your dime of anxiety there too, he he. Joke lang.
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