DAYEdalera
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
bar review
The last 5 months of my life before the bar exam almost destroyed the thin-like thread between my sanity and insanity.
There are times I am crying or laughing for no reason.
Depression of weight gain and yet eating to the fullest.
Devising means to forget the taste of coffee by mixing chocolait, milk or even soda in it.
Singing the Income Tax provisions of the NIRC.
Although I have heard same stories from already lawyers. I thought mine was worst and the pessimistic ME took it as a negative sign.
Further, as my friend Glad called them "dementors" there are people pushing the button pressure. People I've met in my walk of life.
Family members already calling me "atty".
My Bosses, past and present.Org mates, Former students, et.al.
Bar review is not a totally fun experience. It is a humbling experience.
During the last five months I felt that I am the most fragile person. Never been so prayerful to the extent that every church I passed through I am whispering my prayers for the bar. I doubted myself many times. I lost my self-esteem.
I can't find the "daye" I used to know. The confident. Dare all.
I met my new self. Afraid of failing. Afraid of letting other people know that I am taking the bar exam. Afraid of facing September.
It was during the bar review that I discovered ignorance. Learning certain principles of law which I heard for the first time (probably because the Bar Chairman is fond of uncommon terms).
It was during the bar review that I have accomodated fears of insufficiency. I was a full-time government employee during my law school days. Who studied a maximum of 2 hours a day and struggled to survive the day to day recitation in class. I attended classes even if I am half-prepared. I hardly passed every exam. I hardly pray for the Revalida's. During the bar review my insufficiencies in law school haunted me if I am really prepared to face the battle.
As I counted months into weeks and into days... .I am humbled each day.
A point of no return. It is for me to surpass. No matter what it may cost me. Taking the risk is always rewarding. I am hopeful.
*****
I am slowly recapitulating my experiences for posterity. :)
There are times I am crying or laughing for no reason.
Depression of weight gain and yet eating to the fullest.
Devising means to forget the taste of coffee by mixing chocolait, milk or even soda in it.
Singing the Income Tax provisions of the NIRC.
Although I have heard same stories from already lawyers. I thought mine was worst and the pessimistic ME took it as a negative sign.
Further, as my friend Glad called them "dementors" there are people pushing the button pressure. People I've met in my walk of life.
Family members already calling me "atty".
My Bosses, past and present.Org mates, Former students, et.al.
Bar review is not a totally fun experience. It is a humbling experience.
During the last five months I felt that I am the most fragile person. Never been so prayerful to the extent that every church I passed through I am whispering my prayers for the bar. I doubted myself many times. I lost my self-esteem.
I can't find the "daye" I used to know. The confident. Dare all.
I met my new self. Afraid of failing. Afraid of letting other people know that I am taking the bar exam. Afraid of facing September.
It was during the bar review that I discovered ignorance. Learning certain principles of law which I heard for the first time (probably because the Bar Chairman is fond of uncommon terms).
It was during the bar review that I have accomodated fears of insufficiency. I was a full-time government employee during my law school days. Who studied a maximum of 2 hours a day and struggled to survive the day to day recitation in class. I attended classes even if I am half-prepared. I hardly passed every exam. I hardly pray for the Revalida's. During the bar review my insufficiencies in law school haunted me if I am really prepared to face the battle.
As I counted months into weeks and into days... .I am humbled each day.
A point of no return. It is for me to surpass. No matter what it may cost me. Taking the risk is always rewarding. I am hopeful.
*****
I am slowly recapitulating my experiences for posterity. :)
Labels: bar exam, bar review
.JPG)
2 Comments:
Claim it my littlebabs! MiSs You So MucH...
daye, it's your roomie! (tinatamad mag-log in haha)
sobrang humbling experience ang bar review up to the bar itself. and it made me value my family and friends more. and to strengthen my faith.
ahhh... i said i won't talk about the experience. :D
Post a Comment
<< Home